Notes From the Universe is an ongoing series of blog posts based on chosen prompts and co-created with the Universe.
Prompt: Why Am I Losing Friends As I Grow Spiritually?
Losing good friends is a potential side effect of spiritual awakening that can feel uncomfortable. It is simply a matter of alignment. As your vibration changes drastically, some of the people who have been in your life may no longer be a match to the new energy you are putting out.
As you awaken and expand spiritually, you’ll be doing two things:
First, you’ll be jettisoning old limiting beliefs, fears, and paradigms that have been weighing you down and holding you back. Dropping these deadweights begins to lighten your vibration. And we each attract into our 3D reality whatever it is that matches our vibration.
Second, you’ll be coming into huge new understandings about yourself, the Universe, and your desires. You may begin to look at your desires with more honesty and admit to yourself what you really want, and notice where your current life is not matching your true desires. You’ll be stepping into a position of greater self-love with each off-loading of old weight and acceptance of true desires. The frequency you are putting out into the Universe will change dramatically, and quickly.
Each person in your life is there, without exception, because they are a match to your frequency. Over the normal course of life, we make new friends and lose old ones. It is not something we generally think much about as it tends to happen naturally and slowly as we change with age and pass societally accepted life milestones, like graduating college.
Vibrational re-alignment
But when you are experiencing a spiritual awakening, you change your own vibration so rapidly that poor vibrational matches seem torn from your life quickly and sometimes dramatically. Sometimes quietly, too- they can fall away with little fanfare. Sometimes it may be that you are simply bored of someone, and there may even be mutual “ghosting.” There is just not a vibrational alignment, and there is nothing wrong with this. You two are no longer able to learn from each other in potent and useful ways.
However, this process of loss stops many people in their tracks, as it can be painful to loose old friendships. These are not just drinking buddies you may lose- it can be people who you genuinely felt were supportive of your growth and with whom you’ve shared wonderful experiences. It may even be close family members or romantic partners, or even a marriage.
This is an important time to reframe your pain of loss into an understanding of what is really happening: a path is being cleared for relationships that fit you much, much better. From the new perspective you are gaining and the new feelings you are feeling, the old friends who are falling away simply would not be satisfying or healthy for you. It would not be beneficial to bring them forward into your new life of self-love. It is only the in-between phase that seems scary. This phase is simply a beat between losing old friends and meeting new ones, and of healing.
This is an important time to reframe your pain of loss into an understanding of what is really happening: a path is being cleared for relationships that fit you much, much better.
In some cases, new friends may not come in immediately or in a way that seems to make sense. If your spiritual growth spurt is particularly intense, you may be increasing your vibration so quickly that you are a different person from day to day, week to week.
It may sometimes be difficult to make new friendships while you feel so off-balance yourself, though it is certainly possible to find your new best friend while still in this state of intense change. You may also meet new people and not realize until later that they are “meant” to be in your life- that you are a vibrational match and have called one another in. So you may meet someone early on during the first fiery roar of your spiritual awakening and only after the heat has burned away some of your old beliefs will you realize what a great match that new person is.
Focusing on gratitude
It is helpful to go through your friendships and honestly evaluate your feelings about the parties who have fallen away. It is likely that you will find that some part of you is relieved at the burden that has been lifted from your shoulders, and that you were sacrificing some part of your own happiness to accommodate the relationship. That is the part of you the recognizes that these people were no longer vibrational matches, and that your learning experience with them has ended.
It is likely that you will find that some part of you is relieved at the burden that has been lifted from your shoulders, and that you were sacrificing some part of your own happiness to accommodate the relationship.
It is good also to turn your attention away from the friends you are losing and re-direct it toward the friends and family members who are still in your life and whom you love. Those people are still a match for you, and that is wonderful. It is as easy to feel overwhelming gratitude and love for the people still in your life as it is to feel the pain of loss of some others- in fact, it is much easier. Double down on those people for love and support through this process of change. Express to them how much you appreciate them.
So who is coming in to replace your old friends? What will these people be like?
The people who become your new friends are those who are vibrationally aligned with the new version of yourself. That means that they will be the best possible teachers, friends, and confidants for you right now. You have drawn each other into your lives in order to have some very important experiences that will lead you closer to unconditional love.
If friendship is important to you and you do desire new friends, you will find that new, more emotionally secure friends will be entering your life. You’ll be able to talk to them about things you were unable to talk to old friends about, and connect on a significantly deeper level. There may be much less melodrama and significantly more love and acceptance. You may find that you become friends with someone much more quickly than you have with others in the past, as both you and the other party are more willing to admit without fear of rejection that you enjoy each other’s company and enjoy sharing intimate conversations.
Alignment of specific goals
There is something else very fun that you might experience with your new friendships.
As you become clearer about the experiences you want to have and about your own intentions and desires, you will find that people come into your life with extremely specific similarities and goals. You may think you are the only person in the world who, for example, wants to start a company that brings people into the wilderness for overnight bird-watching tours and to create music inspired by birdcalls. Then suddenly you’ll find yourself meeting the only other person in the world who wants to do exactly that thing. That’s how it works. When you are vibrationally aligned with your desires, the people with the same desires start appearing as if out of nowhere.
As you become clearer about the experiences you want to have and about your own intentions and desires, you will find that people come into your life with extremely specific similarities and goals.
So yes, it may feel painful to loose an old friend. It may feel like a cruel punishment. But it a great gift of your own vibrational attraction that is clearing the way for new friendships that are better and more fulfilling than anything you’ve experienced in the past. Once you meet them, you would not choose to return to your old friendships. They simply do not match. Best to just let them fall away. You can turn your attention to appreciating the people still in your life and look forward to incredible new friends who will join you on your specific path in the future.
In Love,
The Universe
