Notes From the Universe is an ongoing series of blog posts based on chosen prompts and co-created with the Universe.
Prompt: Sacrifice And Selfishness
You might see your choice of actions as lying on a spectrum between ultimate sacrifice and ultimate selfishness. You might see sacrifice as noble, spiritual, and good, and selfishness as base, ignorant, and bad. However, neither of these is an accurate or useful way to view the world.
It misses an important truth, which is:
We are One.
That is a good premise to begin with if you are to understand your own concepts of sacrifice and selfishness in a useful way.
We are all One. We are all literally of One mind, while simultaneously we are each uniquely ourselves. As One, what is best for any individual of the group is also exactly what is best for the entire group as a whole. It is impossible, IMPOSSIBLE, to do something that is aligned with your intuition and have that action be selfish, because it is an action that comes from One mind, and is therefore good for the group as a whole.
It is impossible, IMPOSSIBLE, to do something that is aligned with your intuition and have that action be selfish, because it an action that comes from One mind, and is therefore good for the group as a whole.
Likewise, you can not do something “sacrificial” for another party and expect them to benefit in a healthy way. You and the other party will still learn lessons, though they will come needlessly through pain rather than love.
In simplistic terms, you need never sacrifice, as that would necessarily be against both your best interests and the interests of the group. What is happening when you act in sacrifice is that you are actually acting in fear, generally in attachment to a person or something in your life that you are afraid to lose.
Here is an example:
Each day when you come home from work, you arrive before your partner and cook dinner. You do not enjoy cooking, but you think that you are doing something good for your partner to show you love them. The whole time you are cooking, you are thinking “I do so much for them, I do this every day, I give and give and for what, they never cook for me! I’m going to leave the dishes in the sink and see how long it takes them to clean up. They probably won’t, they never do. I always clean the dishes. I do so much for them! I suffer for their benefit! Why can’t they appreciate all the pain put myself through?” Somewhere deep down, you are afraid that if you stop cooking for your partner, they will leave you or withdraw their affections.
You do not cook with love in this case, but with fear. You are treating yourself unlovingly by putting yourself through something that makes you unhappy, and you are treating them unlovingly by “requiring” their love in exchange for your pain.
Even if you think you are hiding this, when your partner comes home, they can sense and react to your vibration of resentment. They themselves may not quite know what it is they are reacting to. But something seems off. You have given this gift, but it comes with strings attached, with “I did this, now you need to do something for me.” Your partner now has to make up for a lack you perceive in them but that is actually in you, and will have to sacrifice in turn in order to appease you temporarily. But the cycle of sacrifice and resentment will continue until you change your behavior.
In this case or any case of sacrifice, you are overlooking many courses of action that would better suit you. Your partner might find that they love cooking, or that the two of you enjoy cooking together, or that there is an easy way for you to eat without preparing your own meals. Maybe this is only one small issue in your relationship and you are not suitable partners for one another. It may even be as simple as making a decision to give up the feeling of sacrifice itself: to admit that yes, you do actually love cooking, and you will stop pretending that you are doing it as a gift to the other person. You can admit that you love to cook and are doing it for your own pleasure, and then it will truly become a gift to the other.
Sacrifice can apply to anything, large or small. You may stay in a job or marriage you don’t enjoy because you believe you are serving the other party. But as One, if it is not in your best interest and not aligned with your intuition and feelings of joy, you can be sure that it is also not in alignment with the other party’s intuition. You have attracted each other to play out a lesson of misunderstandings in intuition, which leads to suffering.
But as One, if it is not in your best interest and not aligned with your intuition and feelings of joy, you can be sure that it is also not in alignment with the other party’s intuition. You have attracted each other to play out a lesson of misunderstandings in intuition, which leads to suffering.
Obligation is sacrifice, and commitment is sacrifice, unless you are committed from a place of love within yourself. If you have married a beautiful soul and you wake up every morning delighted to experience life with them, this is a beautiful commitment you choose every day from love. If you wake up dreading another day with this person, it may be a commitment from sacrifice, or at least something that needs a course correction. It is not the signed agreement that makes a commitment valid or invalid; it is your heart.
Your idea of selfishness could even be said to be a braver choice than sacrifice. Sacrifice, at least, carries the mass approval of society, whereas selfishness is often met with harsh judgement and cruel gossip.
We could break down “selfish” into two smaller categories: self-love (the most beautiful thing!) and a temporary misunderstanding of self-love.
Misunderstandings can appear as greed, vanity, flakiness, indulgence, etc. People who display these qualities are likely not acting in self-love, yet. But their experiences have led them to a place where they have been prompted to begin putting themselves first. They have realized the rules of a sacrificial society are not benefiting them, and are attempting to make changes. They are beginners, as we all are at some point. But at least they are trying, and they are experimenting, and that is a huge step in the right direction.
An act that may appear selfish but is actually a decision made in alignment with your intuition is supremely unselfish. It is something that is wonderful for the good of us all. To be clear, there is nothing selfish whatsoever about accumulating wealth, enjoying positive opportunities and adventures, having or not having children, or doing anything from a state of love.
To be clear, there is nothing selfish whatsoever about accumulating wealth, enjoying positive opportunities and adventures, having or not having children, or doing anything from a state of love.
When you begin to practice listening to your intuition, its directions may lead you to things that society has deemed “selfish,” and because of your own accumulated judgements, it will be difficult to act on your intuition in these cases. You will not want to feel judged by others. It will take a lot of bravery and you may make mistakes, but it is important to begin practicing. You can start with small things.
When you begin to practice listening to your intuition, its directions may lead you to things that society has deemed “selfish,” and because of your own accumulated judgements, it will be difficult to act on your intuition in these cases.
Ultimately we must all learn to treat ourselves first our to own unconditional love and the love that is always available to us from the Universe. We must fill our own hearts with loving energy, or else there is nothing much to give to others anyway. Attempting to give to your own heart while temporarily misunderstanding your own emotional needs produces “selfish” behavior. Giving to the hearts of others before you have given to your own heart produces sacrifice.
When you are on your personal path in full alignment, your actions will feel neither sacrificial nor selfish. It will simultaneously feel as if what you choose to do is a wonderful and expansive course of action for both yourself and all other parties. We are One, and there is nothing you can do in love that will not ultimately be wonderful for you and us and everyone. You need never fear loving directions from your own heart.
In Love,
The Universe
